If I were told to describe what passion was to someone. I would describe it as the fuel that drives you. I would also describe it as being a Phoenix. A Phoenix in mythology refers to a mythical bird that dies in flames and is reborn from the ashes. I say this because my passion is resurfacing after I have spent ample amounts of time being uncertain or as I often describe “lost.” I say Phoenix since I don’t believe that one’s passion or Raison d’être can just burn to ashes and never rise again. People tend to rise again (like zombies – kidding >_>; ) even if they fail and fall. It isn’t true failure if one learns from why something failed. Others would say failure is one step closer to success.
Many people go through the walks of life where their ideals, goals, desires, change. To this day I believe that everyone has a fuel for living, not just as something slapped on in our genes from evolution, which is also known as survival. Everyone wants to survive and live, but what does survival mean when one cannot be fulfilled? What we are passionate about is what feeds our souls. I have for a long time questioned “what is my purpose?” Which I’m sure everyone asks themselves at some point and is the most well known rhetorical question of the universe. After interacting with artistically talented people and taking classes, I started to understand what had been lost in a black hole that supposedly existed in my soul. Watching my teachers instruct with confidence and show passion for what they do, what they live for, helped me snap out of the “why” and “what” loop question I kept asking myself like a skipping CD.
It really isn’t about the “why” and the “what.” It’s about just taking action of the things that you are passionate about. Granted it takes a very long time for one to figure out what one is passionate about when they have no clue what they are looking for. This is where taking different classes or learning about the things that pique the senses really comes into play. This is how you discover about whatever aspect that helps you tick.
Thanks to being persistent, such as the 365 project and continuing to attend class and try new things. I think I have finally got the phoenix of my soul to drag itself out of the heap of ashes. I am slowly overcoming my fear of the blank canvas and I am also understanding what I really enjoy doing. The classes have inspired me as well as helped me become more confident about committing to canvas, to not over think, and to enjoy the process and the present.
I will of course continue to take more classes. But I will also make more time to tend to my Raison d’être.
Great post! I have a feeling your new favorite word, Raison d’être, is from all those episodes of Ergo Proxy.