Many people go through the walks of life where their ideals, goals, desires, change. To this day I believe that everyone has a fuel for living, not just as something slapped on in our genes from evolution, which is also known as survival. Everyone wants to survive and live, but what does survival mean when one cannot be fulfilled? What we are passionate about is what feeds our souls. I have for a long time questioned “what is my purpose?” Which I’m sure everyone asks themselves at some point and is the most well known rhetorical question of the universe. After interacting with artistically talented people and taking classes, I started to understand what had been lost in a black hole that supposedly existed in my soul. Watching my teachers instruct with confidence and show passion for what they do, what they live for, helped me snap out of the “why” and “what” loop question I kept asking myself like a skipping CD.

It really isn’t about the “why” and the “what.” It’s about just taking action of the things that you are passionate about. Granted it takes a very long time for one to figure out what one is passionate about when they have no clue what they are looking for. This is where taking different classes or learning about the things that pique the senses really comes into play. This is how you discover about whatever aspect that helps you tick.

Thanks to being persistent, such as the 365 project and continuing to attend class and try new things. I think I have finally got the phoenix of my soul to drag itself out of the heap of ashes. I am slowly overcoming my fear of the blank canvas and I am also understanding what I really enjoy doing. The classes have inspired me as well as helped me become more confident about committing to canvas, to not over think, and to enjoy the process and the present.

I will of course continue to take more classes. But I will also make more time to tend to my Raison d’être.

Anywho, a friend asked me, “Would you say you are happier now at this moment, than you were last year at this same moment?” Unfortunately for me the answer was a no. Or I was going to answer “no” and somehow managed to say “nu, mm, yes?” The mixed answer came from various events and things and changes – it would take me too long to explore all the events that happened in 2008 in less than a few blog posts…

Now that the question has had time to marinate in my brain for a week or two, I’m almost certain that I could tell her again “perhaps.” Although I would be insisted upon answering to a definitive answer of “yes” or “no,” it could only come to be either or neither.

There are many things that I am fortunate to have and am very grateful for (most of the time at least), but I can only say perhaps since I am still in the pursuit of happiness and the truth. The truth being the fuel that will drive me to what I want. I have yet to figure out what my true passion is and I’ll continue to take classes that pique my interest in hopes to find it. But without further adue my still very rough idea of a resolution:

• Blog at least every other week
• Make time each day to draw for 10 mins
• Update beholdthemundane with a comic once every other week
• Eat out less
• Workout more often
• Go on a photoshoot once a month
• Complete one craft project before moving on to another one

Hopefully I can keep this up this year. I’ll update my progress as much as I can.

I finally figured out what I would want, though: Gift certificates to art classes. Actually I had more that I had thought of, but now as I write my blog entry I can’t remember any of the others. So I assume Gift certificates to art classes or miniature classes would be the most significant.

This made me remember about someone talking about how they wanted a coach bag or diamond earrings. I guess what I would really want would be to make a awesome steampunk earring holder! Or making a light box. Pretty much anything that involves organizing will rock my boat it seems. Maybe this is a good thing, honestly, I’d probably end up losing nice earrings unless they connected me to the interwebs all the time.

p.s. It’s not my b-day soon anymore, it has long past… but better late than never eh? ;p

The things you can buy with money & the things you cannot buy with money.

One can buy a house, but cannot buy a home
One can buy a watch, but cannot buy time
One can buy a bed, but cannot buy sleep
One can buy a book, but cannot buy wisdom
One can buy a skilled doctor, but cannot buy health
One can buy social status, but cannot buy respect
One can buy blood, but cannot buy life
One can buy sex, but cannot buy love

The rules:

1. Have the correct number of index cards for the number of players in the game. (example – if there’s 5 people playing you’d have 5 index cards, or tear the standard letter paper to 5 pieces)
2. Everyone draws (whatever) on their first index card. *There’s a time limit
3. Pass it on clock wise or counter clockwise
4. When you get the card from the person next to you, you get a limited amount of time to describe what you see on the next index card.
5. Pass it on (to the direction that the cards are moving in *duh*)
6. Read what the person has described and then attempt to draw what they have written
7. Repeat process until you get your own image back.
8. Hilarity ensues.

Hope you enjoy the morphing of my original drawing.